22.11.08

Huh?

Are you ok?
Yea..
But why?
Nothing..
Then?
Nothing la, just feeling sian lor..
Why are you feeling sian?
Don't know lei, just sian lor..

This conversation's common ya?
Often, this person is not feeling sian, he is actually annoyed or upset or troubled about something but choose to keep it within himself. At times i am like that too, not very healthy right?

Right at this moment, 5am? I'm feeling a little sian. Why? I don't know.. But if i search deep within, i know that i know.. I just don't wanna say it. NO, i am not seeking attention. Then why am i saying all these? Just feel like it. I'm a person who likes to have alot of space, freedom, privacy. And i usually show everyone the positive side of life. Even on this blog, i try to post only happy and crappy stuff, nothing negative and nothing that is deep and personal. Seems as though my life is just about fun and being happy and everyone being happy.(i realised i'm slowly losing this style) No i don't think i'm being fake. Then again, somebody once told me : Whether you like it or not, everyone is a little bit fake at times. Lets face it, applies to me as well. OK, i accept. It actually goes back to my mentality of wishing to live in a perfect, peaceful world..

I've got to learn to let go.. I always relax. Yes i always make time to relax, but am i really relaxed? Maybe only on the surface, but the truth is i haven't released whatever baggage i'm carrying. This one i really don't know..

Having said all these that i think isn't so positive, i still hope to encourage YOU. Yes, i got my own set of problems and worries. At work, relationship with others etc.. That's part of living. We will have to do our best to solve issues and improve situations.. At least try.. Things will work out somehow..

Anyway, its coming to 6am soon and Sam who is not a late night person is talking so much now. Don't know how much of it makes sense.. I'm going to bed le.

22 comments:

quizzy_me=) said...

No matter how i try to improve situation, some people just don't care but, I guess I care too much then ended up both parties unhappy. So the last time I tried, some people still don't care, I then give up persisting already. I took it as I've lost a friend. Very painful, but like what you said, I guess I've to learn to let go too.

Ok la maybe my situation is different as yours. Like you I'm whining too muahaha. thanks for sharing.

It takes time to let go of something and it is difficult but rest assured time will help you get over with it. Maybe get yourself distracted with other cool stuff =).

I don't know if you'd agree with me but then, it really is better if you don't keep all the unhappy things to yourself. Fine if you don't wish to share it here. At least share with someone you trust. Healthier this way la. muahahaha.

If I were you, I would either be opened about it, or if I choose not to share about my unhappy stuff, I would not dwell on it. Cos to me, usually I'll be alright after blogging about my unhappy stuff, then I'll quickly delete my that emo entry. hahahaha.

Ok like you I slept at 6am too and woke up at 7am. I don't know if what I said made sense too. I'm off to work soon, working from morning to midnight today.

jia you ah sam, don't let the emo bugs attack you. me have faith that you are strong enough to resist it =)

Jane said...

At times i am like that too. U are right. Hmm everyone have relationship, friendship, working and family problem to be solve. We are just trying to be happy. Sad or happy also 1 day so why not just be happy. Hehe. Jia you! Hw is ur teaching?

Jean said...

yeahs..agreed tat the conversation is very common..cause my friends asked mi those stuffs before too..and i replied exactly wat u typed..

i think not everyone would say out what they feel at times,cause we wouldn't want our friends to feel troubled too..thats why..most of the times we kept it to ourself.

but anyway i think we should enjoyed as much as we can now,cause we wun know what will happen in the future too..so yeah..SAM,stay happy and don feel sian yeah~!=D..looking forward to mlb events and take care yea=)

meikian said...

很多時候, 笑只是保護色, 只為了不讓別人看到脆弱的一面.

guess its just a form of protection for oneself. and some things simply can't be described in words.. feelings, problems etc.. in my opinion, one doesn't have to share his problems to feel better, its more of the attitude the person has towards it.

anyway, going thru such stuffs and learning from them is all a part of life.. and to persevere on..

things will work out.. 因為船到橋頭自然直~ (:

syl said...

so after blogging this down.. are you feeling much better?

hmm. yes, the world is not perfect.. we cant ask for everything we want.. we can only adapt ourselves to the situation and see how it goes. hopefully, everything turns out fine, and you'll start telling yourself, hey why was i thinking so much for?

'Maybe only on the surface, but the truth is i haven't released whatever baggage i'm carrying. '
i guess everyone has their own inner fears.. it's now easy to let go completely i must say. maybe the baggage would weigh lighter as you walk down the long road ahead.

ok, i hope u had a good sleep!
jia you jia you jia you ok!
SMILE~~ =D

Anonymous said...

相信你起身的那一刻是快乐的。

mei said...

I came across this joke - the husband kept complaining to his wife, he needs space. One day, on his b/dae, his wife gave him a nicely wrap present. Upon opening, he was surprised - what, a rocket? why? His wife answered -' U're always complaining abt not having enough space. So this rocket will sent u to space. Enjoy yrself in space...'

haha! Sam, i think u must hv come to a road junction n comptemplating which direction to turn to.. jiayou!. Take one step at a time. Don't rush! gd luck!

thirtycents87 said...

i'm faced with this problem all the time.. and yes, like you, i'm those sort who enjoys bringing a smile to everyone's face...

its true everyone is being "fake" at times.. but rather than using the term "fake", just take it as everyone is wearing up a "mask" to cover up themselves, either for a good purpose, or bad.

to wear it for a good one, its VERY tiring. Have to cover up all the sadness and unhappiness within, just like a clown. Though u always show the positive side to others, no one really knows how unhappy u are inside. u shld know wad i'm toking abt.

"我只是 卑微的小丑 翻幾個跟斗 就等你拍一拍手

人群散了後 夜色多朦朧 月光也會跟著我

我不是 孤獨的小丑 你笑了之後 不需要記得我

燈熄的時候 滿天的星空 最明亮的是寂寞"

The above is from jay chou's new song. i tink it really suits me to a T.

But, the period of "sian-ness" is only temporary for certain people. They're simply just too tired to continue wearing that "mask". And so, dey needa rest up a bit, then after awhile, dey're back into the life of wearing up that "mask". maybe its the same for u.

But for another small grp of ppl, its just not that simple. Hopefully, u're just falling into the first category.

Anyway.. Cheer up y'all..
Find that motivation in ur life to keep u going. Its the most important thing everyone shld have.

Pek Choo said...

Sam,

Cheer up ya =)

Don't think too much.

Jiayou!!

CYA soon...

rah said...

it ok..
i understood hw the feeling..
cause i also facing this right now.. acting so happy in front of ppl but inner me feeling very empty. which i dunno why? ok.. i am like so 'fake' too ya.. but i trying also to let it go sometimes. but well i still can't help it to keep those to myself instead.. cause no matter hw i wish to talk or share to this person. it doesn't help too.. so i rather choose to keep it to myself..

and maybe lock myself in the room to cry. haas! and and also listening to emo-ing songs. i knw it doesn't help and it nt healthy too but.. sigh! well.. like nw i typing this. i myself also nt feeling good..

anyway take care sam! it ok to type out hw u feel sometimes..(:

qIaNhUi said...

Dun Worry, Be HAPPY!

Yes Every1 Has His/Her Own Problems To Worry Abt... That's What Life Is Ba?
Hmmmmmm Whatever Will Happen, Is Already Decided By God ... So?

Live Positive All [I Hope] :)

capri said...

gg to bed at 5 am? wow... i'm oredi deep in my dreams.

"sian" is a common word tat i'll often say at work. haa... sian tat i need to work. sian, time is passing so slow. sian, so much work. etc.. =p

"Whether you like it or not, everyone is a little bit fake at times" - i agree. coz i know sometimes i am. (><)

off to bed le... nite...

ZHU meiyi (: said...

cheer up yea! :B

Lum Wai Loon 林伟伦 said...

Hey...young one. Don't end up in this trap of feeling melancholic. It's not gonna be healthy. If you are unhappy about your situation or relationship, move out and move on. Focus on the positive. Well, nothing is perfect but if you are not choosing your path and goal, you will always be trapped in this vicious cycle. Cheer up, bro!

MIKO(: said...

that's just being human. what do you think?

MiaE said...

Problems are like Stones weighing on our Hearts. Overturn them to Get our Hearts back.

pegg said...

hmmmm..
well, sam. just like you said. everyone has their own sets of problems. it's only up to individual to show these problems out or keep them deep down in their hearts.
nobody is perfect.
and you cant make the whole world like you as well. and well, not sure wad's happening to you at that time but then again, let it go ba.

only when you let go, you will then get release from that issue. even though we cant simply press delete, and that issue can be erased off, but again, it all takes time.

jiayou lo~ (=

Anonymous said...

Matthew 11:27-29

:)

Anonymous said...

maybe life's like a penalty? the keeper's u, the goal is ur destiny. the ball is ur challege, the taker is your nemesis.
although the odds are against u. right or left? u know you have to dive to your knees, wat ever happens, least we know, u've given ur best & did not flea.
let me know, if you need gloves. i get you gloves.
-gene

ellekay :] said...

you sounded moody~

such feelings are always complicated.
sometimes, i dont even plan to understand/find out how come im feeling 'this way' either.

be happy yo!
:)

Vics said...

Don't sian! got me! hahaha

Lorita said...

I'm so complicated now with someone that i like.....i feel so moody now